We mentioned in our last post, Happy Easter 🐇, that there was a good example of another manipulation tactic.
It's often used in politics or other hot topics. It usually comes across with a tinge of intimidation 🤖. Sometimes there's also a hefty dose of emotion hiding just beneath the surface, with the speaker or writer ready to spew a huge stream of noise and nonsense if someone doesn't give the correct answer.
It's what we'll call:
“This or That” can also be called "Either-Or" as a manipulation tactic. In some cases it may be considered black-and-white thinking.
It’s when - someone presents a viable answer and also the extreme opposite which any normal person would consider ridiculous.
They ask you to choose either:
a) the preferable choice 🏝️ which is what they probably want you to select. This is the option that is obviously more acceptable, more reasonable, more attractive, etc. They will present it as the only good choice. 👍🏼
OR
b) the other choice 🌪️which only a total and complete dolt would choose. This is the option that is obviously and absolutely unacceptable, horrifying, insulting, inhumane, shameful, illegal, despicable, etc. 👎🏼
You get the picture. LOL 😆 😂🤣😄
By using this either-or tactic, they make it appear that you have a choice, but in reality, you don't. You can be a star, a winner,🥇 and join their wonderful, victorious team if you agree, or you can be the most disgusting loser 👻 ever to walk the planet if you choose the other option. We see this tactic frequently in the news.
LOL.
This is not really a choice, right?
Another key consideration is that in the world of politics (cultural values, religion, any controversial topic), 🥵 there are generally many different factors involved and many different ways of viewing the situation. The circumstances may be unusual, the facts may not yet be known, the reliability of the evidence may be in question...
... Which leads to the conclusion that there could be A LOT of other options besides the two ⏫ answers the person allows you to choose from.
Of course, you always have these other options:
- I dunno 🤷🏻♀️
- I'll think about it 🤔
- I don't care 😒
- I'll ask my mom/dad/friend/teacher/attorney/dog/hamster/goldfish. 🐹
This type of confrontational question (or implied question), when someone gives you a this-or-that choice can often be under pressure. We mentioned emotional pressure above, and there can also be time pressure - URGENCY. ⏰ That urgency can be to confuse/fluster you so that you're not thinking clearly and quickly agree with their way of thinking.
A pretty well-known example is when a world leader proclaimed to his country, "You're either for us or against us!!" A terrible, tragic disaster 😩 had just occurred that cost many, many, many lives. Everyone was devastated, in a state of shock and disbelief 😭.
When this leader used this device, it was almost a relief to his people, to clarify a situation that the stunned people had not yet processed or accepted. Tbh, it was very effective. It polarized the nation into a good-bad split, justified a lot of new policies, and perhaps it helped us to recover - or not.
BUT THE POINT is that it was not a reasonable choice. You could only really choose the former, "with us." No one in their right mind would choose, "against us."
A few possible alternate responses to the statement:
- I'm for world peace 🌎
- I'm for finding the attackers and prosecuting them to the full extent of the law ⚖️
- I'm for finding those @#$*( and executing them ASAP. 🚔🚔
- I'm still in shock. 🥺
- I'm against all mass murders and want to help the victim families first. ⛑️
The good news is at times there can be a quick and easy solution to this manipulation tactic. Instead of viewing it as an either-or where you may only choose one option, you can also apply a "both-and" response. In this case you are saying it is both a) and b).
This is where the Easter blog is applicable. The vast majority of people during that time were asking the question if this person Jesus Christ were a man or a god, since he professed to be from somewhere else. ‼️
The question came across as:
> > Are you (THIS): < <
a) obviously a man - who is making preposterous and traitorous claims and deserves to die for it 😳
Or (THAT)
b) a god - which cannot possibly be true, therefore deserves to die for impersonating a civic/religious leader. 😳
We solve the either-or dilemma by applying a both-and solution. He turned out to be BOTH a) a man AND b) a god.
In a more relatable example, let's say you are reading an article on a disease, and the researcher is suggesting a scientific remedy 🔬with a spiritual dimension 🙏🏼. The commenters are split between the scientific pharmaceutical remedy OR a spiritual prayer/meditation type of remedy - which one really works??? Both claim to have positive results. Each side has convincing arguments and well-supported positions. Each side tends to discredit the other side.
In this case you could apply the both-and logic. You could say you believe both approaches complement each together, so you will try both the scientific remedy AND the spiritual remedy. It doesn't have to be a fight to the death where one side demolishes the other. In this manner you can disengage from the heated discussion and go your merry way.
Of course, in our more common daily decisions, this is not a huge issue; there is not a stellar positive choice and an extremely negative choice.
Example: Do you want fried chicken 🍗 or hamburgers 🍔 for lunch?
We are just asking:
Try not to allow someone to corner you into a position with a great choice and a horrible choice. We think it’s disingenuous and disrespectful towards you.
Instead we can recognize the trap and step out of it, and then respond accordingly.
A more common example:
Them: Hey! Elections are tomorrow!! Are you voting for candidate A or B?
Candidate A is super, extremely, unbelievably terrific. 👍🏼
Candidate B just murdered 759 billion innocent people on Mars. 👎🏼
You: Actually, I like my dog/hamster/goldfish better and named him Potus for President of the United States. 🐾
That's us at EHSWO and Female Brilliance helping to expand your options...in a fun way.
We don't have to go along with this game. When someone starts applying pressure, the warning bells 🔔 should be going off in your head. Danger, danger, danger!
If you pick the wrong answer, you know you could receive a tidal wave of drama 🌊 and protestation 🗣️.
Please raise your hand if that sounds fun. LOL
The either-or manipulation tactic is pretty funny once you start to recognize it. When you see it coming, you can create your own ingenious response.
We hope you have fun with it!
🍀 Good luck! 🍀